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07/18/2006: ""

I have a job interview tomorrow morning. I've been stressed and depressed for the last week, if I don't get a job soon, it would only get worse. There's a lot of bullshit going on, the house is going to get remodeled and we all have to put our stuff in storage and move out while its being done, they have plans for my mom, my sister, my brothers, but for some reason, I haven't heard what the plan with me is... To tell you the truth, I feel after the house gets done, I wont be allowed to move back in. They feel I'm more of a loss instead of an income. If I can get this job, I could have a leg to stand on. They blamed me for a high electricity bill, it was over $200 some times. We installed a gas dryer after the electric dryer burned out, now the bill has been cut by 1/3. Last bill I seen, it was around $140. There's a TV, a computer, and fans going on in each room 24 hours a day, yet I seem to be using electricity more than anybody else. My sister's kids watch TV 24 hours a day, 3 kids watching 3 different TV's and the same show, apparently don't use that much electricity. They say I eat the most food, yet I'm skinnier and weigh less than all of them. I know I'm not doing my best to help out at the moment, but I'm not the cause for every bad thing in this house.

Also, I guess I've been lonely. Its been 2 years since my last relationship, and its been a year since I've been with a woman. This year, I've been felling secluded. It kind of hit me the other day, I thought of my ex for a sec, I don't miss her, but I miss being with someone. And I don't want to rush into anything cause I did that before, and it ended badly.

The only thing that has been bringing me any joy is playing MMORPG's. And lately thats been getting old.